"Letters Home" (Summer on the Road 05')
During this last summer of 2005, I had the unique opportunity to travel to a different city every week for my job. I began sending out E-mails titled "Fan Club Newsletters" or "Captains Logs" to my family and friends describing wherever I was. Here they are, in all their entirety, starting with my first one ever in May after my cat and best friend "Gummo" died. That happened right before I was supposed to go to Seattle for a job that fell through. Anyways, it starts out sad but gets better, then gets sad again. Such is life.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Captains Log
Stardate : 5.9.2005
Location: Tucson, AZ
All right y'all, here's what's up now.
Gummo's condition never really got much better, and he spent most of his time asleep or in a headlock getting fed by me. This combined with taking a job offer to do contract work for Nortel in Seattle/Portland, I have decided to let him go. I just don't have the time to keep him alive this way, and now that I'm going to the Northwest for 5-6 weeks, I definately don't. So instead of letting him starve himself to death, I "put him down" as they say. He will be in the desert sand somewhere but remember: "That cat is gone, but he aint gone stray".
GUMMO
1999-2005
So here lies Gummo,
a cat so famous...
And what can be said
when the day is through,
about this old tom cat
that isn’t true.
He was born on a farm
next to a pig sty,
during that 99’ summer
on the forth of July.
Discovered by Brennan
familiar to most,
he leapt like a tiger
but hardly would boast.
For this was a tom cat
who knew he was rare,
with bottle caps soaring
he’d catch in the air.
Sure I had millions
with promos and sponsors,
this back flipping farm cat
would sell beer and concerts.
Who never backed down
when faced with a mutt?
Who never felt pain
when kicked in the gut?
So like an old sailor
who’s late in his days,
said, “Fuck all you people-
It’s tuna that pays!”
He starved himself silly
and wouldn’t drink a thing,
but weight loss and jaundice
is all that would bring.
It wasn’t curiosity
that killed this tom cat,
he held out for tuna
and his liver got fat.
By the time I had noticed
the damage was done,
I force fed him water
But jaundice had won.
So this is what has happened
to a cat that’s known by all,
the tuna made him do it,
his liver made him fall.
Stubbornness or porch rage;
which ever was the cause,
he lies now in the desert
and it made me take a pause…
Gummo- “That cat is gone but he aint gone stray”
7/4/99- 5/6/05
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Captains Log.
Star Date: 6.24.2005
Altitude: 34,000 feet
Location: Somewhere above Texas on a flight home (Tucson still).
I have mixed feelings about leaving this virtual L.L. Bean catalog known as North Carolina. Exclusive inside information, news, and reviews is now available to all my premium fan club members!
3 Things I will miss:
1. Chapel Hill- A college city so wrapped up in its own glory years (i.e. UNC college basketball, Michael Jordan, NCAA title in 2005) that it kind of reminds me of Green Bay (but with way more college girls and way less brats). This city reminds me of Dad, with it’s fanaticism for college basketball. And it’s not just Chapel Hill (UNC); there is Raleigh (NC State), Durham (Duke), and Wake Forest (Wake Forest) all in close proximity to each other (big rivalries).
2. The Woods- North Carolina is like always being in the woods. The only thing separating the thick foliage is the roads and highways. You can never really know where you are there because you can’t see past the trees. I was 100 feet from a mall in Durham and had to ask for directions.
3. Wilmington/Atlantic Ocean- Wilmington is a tourist city on the Atlantic Ocean that is best known for “Cape Fear”- a sunny sprawling beach dotted with tiki bars every couple 100 feet or so. The waves are especially large there, which attracts the best surfers from all over. I stayed there last weekend instead of going home because of its extremely pleasant vibe. I never saw the Atlantic Ocean before, and I must admit, it seemed a little larger, fresher, and warmer than the Pacific.
3 Things I won’t miss:
1. Humidity- I must be the most spoiled brat in the world living in the dry air of Tucson, and I didn’t realize it until I got off that plane in Raleigh. The first breath of air that night was like inhaling tobacco flavored steam, it felt like a hot wet blanket over me the whole time. I’ll take >10% humidity any day.
2. Cigarettes- I never thought I’d see a city so sympathetic with the tobacco industry (everybody is a proud smoker there). Tobacco was the main cash crop for Raleigh for hundreds of years and it did a lot of good for a lot of families until everybody started getting cancer and dying. The name RJ Reynolds (Marlboro) is on parks and streets everywhere. You can always hear a hacking cough where ever you are.
3. Harris-Teeter- The main grocery store in North Carolina. They call it “Teeters”.
Anyways, the job seems really cool so far. I am now done training and ready to start going everywhere. For tech savvy Brennan fans, here is an overview of what I am doing: I am working for a company called Apex Systems, who contracts work out to a company called Tekelec. Tekelec owns 80% of the market share in a specific area of telecommunications known as SS7/STP messaging/signaling. They make processors and servers for signaling transfer points (STP) that utilizes SS7 messaging to route your phone calls. Due to number portability, their old servers (owned by various telecom service providers like SBC, Verizon, Cingular, etc.) are becoming overfilled with new numbers. Since these old servers can’t handle the industry’s needs, we are installing newer and better servers for the service providers. They can store up to 192 million phone numbers a piece, hence the project name, “192 mill”. This process is known as a “hot slide” because we will be moving live equipment and replacing it with new equipment (all the time making sure there are no service interruptions). Patty and Scott- you guys know what all that means.
I am going home now and then to Kansas City, Kansas on Monday for the first job (for Sprint). From there it could be back to Vegas or to Illinois, don’t know yet. I am working in a team of 8 guys, but we are all split up into pairs. They paired me up with a guy named Justin from New York.
Also! I plan on returning to Milwaukee for the last weekend of Summerfest – 7/9 & 10 for my 10 year high school reunion on 7/9 and to hang out with the fam.
Also! I am changing my e-mail address so please update it to bzennan@gmail.com The next fan club newsletter will come from my new address.
-bZen
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Captains Log
Star Date: 7.14.2005
Altitude: 34,000 feet
Location: Again, somewhere above Texas on a flight home.
For those in the know, Dallas Texas was the city that my "telecomcareer" first got started. In 2000, when I graduated from ITT, Nortel Networks hired me and flew me to Dallas for two weeks of telecommunications central office training. This was the first time I had ever really left Milwaukee, at least for any business purposes, and it was completely thrilling to me. I went out every single night and had hundreds of stories to tell about my "new exciting job". I rolled around town with the corporate card and bought fancy drinks for all the ladies. Then, as you may know, Nortel Networks flew me back to Dallas 8 months later for another week of training. This time however, the training was different, since it included the lay offs of over 3000 employees due to the infamous "tech stock market crash" in late 2000- the days of riding my high horse were over. I think we (Nortel Field Techs) all got the best training that week, because the days of milk and honey were over in the telecom world and we had to face the hard facts: We were not in high demand anymore. All the work we used to perform for top dollar was outsourced to contractors for half that. So when the option came to "join em", I instead got lucky (again) with one of the last gravy jobs around in telecom (SBC), and it was union of all things! I gave contract work the finger.
So where am I going with this little story? I returned to Dallas last week for the first time since being dumped by it, as a contractor (something I was once proud NOT to be). I was sent to Dallas this time to LEAD a crew of 3 guys. I directed all the work performed, interfaced with the customer, made the hours and called the shots. Evidently, according to my project manager in Raleigh, it all went "just about perfect". And so a new era of telecom work begins for me, but this time it involves being on the other side: being a boss effectively. I returned to the city that made me, and the city that slayed me, in a greater place than I ever realized I would be when I left on that sad day in 2000, and under much different circumstances. I felt proud to return to Dallas wiser and battle tested, this time with a newer, truer purpose- to work hard, not sight-see. I did go out one night this week to "Lower Greenville" (the bars I frequented every night back in 2000), and it was mildly fun. I can say that it was nowhere near the level of excitement that my memories had served to remind me of for the last 5 years. But then again, the times they are a changing for me- I'm not out to party like it was 1999 anymore.
Anyway, that being said, here is what you've all been waiting for:
3 Things I Will Miss:
1. The honeys. Texas breeds cute little hot girls. It's just a fact. No matter where you go you can see em' out there, just playin' withthe deer and the antelope.
2. The wide open spaces. You gotta love a place that when you lookout, you can see only land for miles and miles- with no obstructions at all. You could probably see a cow 12 miles away in the right light.
3. The highways. They have a good highway system there- you can get just about anywhere in Dallas/Fort Worth pretty quick because of its multiple, easily accessible freeway systems.
3 Things I Won't Miss:
1. Drunken wandering crazy people on the freeways. The freeway system rocks, but there is one catch: Every hillbilly with a bottle of jack walks around on them like its Times Square. You always need to keep an eye out for these guys (and girls with bare feet and Newports too).
2. Grocery stores. I went to 3 popular/major grocery stores in Dallas just to get some damn kosher skim milk. None of them had it or knew what I was talking about. Meat was just out of the question. This is the first city I've been to where all the milk wasn't kosher. Oh well, I ended up getting soy milk anyways.
3. Poncho's Mexican Buffet. I don't generally like to eat out as it is, and eating out "kosher style" can be especially difficult (as many of you who have gone out to eat with me know). But this place took the freakin' anti-kosher cake. They put damn bacon in everything from salad to salsa. I ended up only being able to eat fire roasted jalapeno peppers with just a touch of lettuce in tortilla shells for lunch (and it was 98 degrees outside).
I do not know yet where I will be next week, but I am thinking Chantilly, VA or Raleigh again. I will keep y'all up to date; as I'm sure y'all want to be. I'll just keep sending out these self indulgent "Fan Club Newsletters" every week until someone gives me a death threat to stop.
Then it’s twice a week bitches.
bZen
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Captains Log
Star Date: 7.28.2005
Location: “Sam’s Brewhouse” in Terminal B, Dulles International Airport (IAD), Washington D.C.
Altitude: Sea level, or damn near close
It was as if The Gods themselves spoke to me last week (sorry Christians), and a clap of thunder rang in my ear with a mighty vengeance. For the land had been dry far too long, and the crops were few and far between. A strong storm was the only thing that would bring about the end to this year long drought. Tucson is probably one of the driest places on earth until late July and early August, then “Monsoon Season” arrives like an angry monster, chained up in the basement, working hard to break free and destroy his captors. Due to the moisture content in the air, weather systems moving from East to West, and whatever else causes shit like this to happen, we get powerful and destructive storms every day at around 4:00 PM. These storms creep over the Rincon Mountains in the East, and disappear within 2 or 3 hours... without fail… every day. From the day I arrived in Tucson, the natives warned me of this violent end to the dry spell, but I was skeptical. Exaggeration is rampant there, especially among those who wish to ward off imposters and fly by night “snow birds” to their precious land. “Just wait until the summer” they said. “The heat’ll kill ya, and if the heat don’t kill ya the monsoons will.” Whatever. They obviously never lived in Wisconsin. The monsoons are rough, but they only last for 2-3 weeks and then it’s back to paradise as usual for the rest of the year. Despite the floods and slick road hazards, I secretly wished to be around to see this fiasco take place. Be careful what you wish for I guess, because a personal monsoon was brewing that would keep me grounded, and it just happened to coincide with the real thing. I wasn’t going to miss a damn thing.
Allow me to explain. Last week, I was supposed return to Raleigh, NC (Tekelec) to train some new recruits on the “hot slide” procedure that the Tekelec engineers, and myself (and 3 others) had been developing for the last couple months (refer to fan club newsletter: Star Date 6.24.2005). I requested this location specifically, and in a self serving manner mind you, because Jen Job the “JAP” (Jewish American Princess) would be leaving for Israel to teach kids for the next 2 years on Sunday. Jen and I met in Chapel Hill and bonded over the course of the 2 weeks I was in Raleigh last month. It was a short romance, but for whatever reason, deep down inside, I hoped to see her off. Afterall, this would be the last opportunity I would ever have to hang out with this Chapel Hillian and bid her a “fond” farewell. Unless, of course, some day down the road I decide to travel to Israel for Kosher McDonalds (yes it’s true, they really have Kosher McDonalds there… a paradox in space and time). I do realize that none of my “Official Fan Club Newsletter” readers are familiar with Jen Job the JAP, and I apologize for that. In an attempt to spare the innocent, I have omitted such details. But then I realized: none of you are innocent, regardless of what you may think. So why hide my indiscretions from you? I would only be compromising my journalistic integrity, and cheating all of my loyal fans of the truth.
Anyways, to make a long story short, the blood that wasn’t cooperating with the leg that wasn’t cooperating with the pills that went into my mouth every night wound up putting me back in the hospital (TMC - Tucson Medical Center) for 4 days last week. A brand new crop of blood clots showed up in the leg and lungs like a bounced checks. This was due to a low level of Coumadin (blood thinner) in my system. Coumadin levels in the blood are notoriously difficult to maintain, and thus must be checked frequently (it is especially sensitive to green leafy vegetables like broccoli). I had gone almost a month and a half without getting this checked and as Murphy’s Law would dictate- the level dropped by quite a bit. The doctor attributes the change to the change in my diet and exercise routine since February. However, a protein deficiency in the blood is probably the culprit overall, but that can only be determined by doing 1000 tests (I will do this eventually). Anyways, I’ll see it as a wake up call and begin checking it bi-weekly from now on, and raise or lower my dose accordingly.
This sucked of course, but in more ways than one. Not only was I going to miss the dramatic good bye, I wasn’t going to get paid for the week. Financially, it’s a disaster, but hey, that never stopped me before. Besides, I’ve been working at Fridays on the weekends for a couple bucks, mild amusement, and the chance to meet “local singles”.
So by last Sunday, I was dying to get back on the road to find a new girly girl to talk to (and work of course). I flew into Baltimore (BMI) and drove to Chantilly, VA for the next job. Chantilly is only about 20 minutes West of Washington D.C. so I was excited to see what that was like. On Tuesday, I ventured out into D.C. to find the night life, and after getting lost in the massive ghettos for an hour, I finally found “Adams Morgan” (the bar area on 18th street where all the cool kids go). I ended up running into a 22 year old girl named Kristen, who obviously came from a quality blood line. Her pedigree was unrivaled in the entire place, and for some reason she plopped down on the empty bar stool just to my left. Curious and eager I started in on her with the questions. It turns out she was there with her best friend Erin, and they had been hanging out with some hot shot Capitol Hill lawyers/politicians that they met that night. Apparently, his Harvard law degree bored the shit out of her cause she was showing her undivided interest in me (much to James’ dismay). He made some desperate attempts to recover his valuable investment (i.e. “Are you ready to go get some ice cream?” he says). He ended up leaving with a dirty look, but his other buddy, some Democrat asshole, ended up staying there with her friend Erin. After a few cosmos we hit the road and went to this guy’s (DC I called him) high rise condo for an “after bar” party… and that was that. I went to work the next day on no sleep, but I must admit, I have never been that lucky in all my life (she bore a strong resemblance to Jessica Simpson). It did have a lot to do with being “from the West”, I think she was sick of the East coast attitudes and wanted a more laid back approach (which I was more than happy to offer). She lives in Philadelphia (2 hours North) so it looks like I’m going to have to go there in a couple weekends, how can I not?
Here’s the fix:
3 things I will miss:
1. Adams Morgan: It’s no secret that I’m partial to the night life. This was a good area for that. The bar I hung out in was called “Madam’s Organ”- 3 floors with live bands on each- every night of the week. That’s unheard of.
2. Monuments: There is something to be said for this country, and D.C. says it all in a caption at the base of a monument on every street and every corner. There’s not enough time in a week to go through all of them. But it’s cool, I’ll just have to come back here when I’m really old and actually interested in looking at massive man-made things.
3. Fairfax: This is a small town, but it has a lot of class. Charming houses built with classical architecture in mind, it’s the A-typical East coast “sleepy” little city. I could see raising a family there, sitting on a big porch with a coffee in the morning, watching sunrises and sets, etc. It’s that kind of place. And they have a Harris-Teeter.
3 things I will not miss:
1. The ghetto(s): Washington D.C. is well known for having the worst and largest ghettos in the country. I can attest to this fact. I have never seen such despair and recklessness in all my life. In some areas, it looked like the government public works department just gave up (i.e. flashing reds at huge intersections causing a “free for all” situation- just fly through and hope you don’t get hit because most don’t stop at all, half the street light broken, stalled/parked cars in the middle of the streets). The biggest ones are on the Northwest side and Southeast side. Once I drove in (by accident), it literally took me an hour just to drive out.
2. Politicians: Need I say more?
3. Toyota Prius (gas-electric hybrid): I had to start this thing with a push button on the dashboard. The “shifter” was a little lever next to the radio and it only had F or R (very basic). The car itself wasn’t that small, it just had no pick up and t looked like a car from Disney World’s “Cars of the Future” exhibit in 1985. It makes no sound when you start it, so it took me 10 minutes to figure out it was “on”- like a golf cart. Good gas mileage, if that’s what you’re into.
Next week I’m going to Lewisville, TX (outside Dallas). I’ll keep y’all posted on that whole situation over there. Peace.
-bZen
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Captains Log
Stardate: 8.7.5
Location: Tucson, AZ
Altitude: 2600 feet above sea level
“I'll tell you 'bout Texas Radio and the Big Beat"
"Soft drivin', slow and mad, like some new language.”
”Now, listen to this, and I'll tell you 'bout the Texas"
"I'll tell you 'bout the Texas Radio"
"I'll tell you 'bout the hopeless night Wandering the Western dream"
"Tell you 'bout the maiden with raw iron soul.”
Hello Kings and Queens of Universes: "Texas Radio" refers to high power Mexican radio stations that blasted into Texas in the 1950's. Not restricted by American regulations these stations, whose call letters started with X, could have up to 150,000 watts. Jim Morrison and Ray Manzarek both heard Wolfman Jack on one. Last week, I remembered this spoken word from the at times funky “An American Prayer” (post Doors 1995 release), but it meant something completely different to me at the time. Texas is big- that cliché is as worn out as Catherine Bach’s Daisy Duke shorts after a 1981 press release. Funny though, cause even the radio is just a little bigger. There are tons of interesting stations to choose from. I choose to believe, conveniently, that I am “Wandering the Western dream, in search of the maiden with a raw iron soul” (raw iron in a good way, of course). Appropriately enough, I had a massive Ford F-250 with a bumpin system to drive through this Brobdingnag (Google it) Americana. Unfortunately, I have little to say about Lewisville itself, other than that, I heard some of the best new “indie/pop” music (today’s ultimate paradox) of the 05’ summer season on KDGE The Edge (102.1). With that I’ll give ya’ll my REVISED (i.e. 5 musical entries) best of/worst of list.
5 songs I will miss listening to on Lewisville’s KDGE - “The Edge”
1. “Direction”, Six Feet Under Soundtrack (Vol. 2), Interpol A nice change of pace toward their earlier magic (Antics was so average). Almost shoegazy in nature. Stare at something and listen… with your 3rd ear.
2. “Talk” – “X & Y”, ColdplayMy favorite song from X & Y, a disappointing album overall, this is a strong point.
3. “To The Workers of The Rock River Valley Region, I have an idea concerning your predicament, and it involves an inner tube, bath mats, and 21 able-bodied men” …into: “Man of metropolis steals our hearts” – “C’mon Feel the Illinoise”, Sufjan StevensSufjan is brilliant, creating perfect “chamber folk” stylings, effectively capturing the raw emotion one might feel about a geographic location and its people, mixed in with history lesson lyrics. Michigan (Stevens’ 50 state project predecessor) is probably a better album overall, but he’s got the right idea.
4. “Growing Up With GNR” – “I Sold Gold”, AqueductYes, Aqueduct is one of those OC bands, but this one stands out from the others. Good song writing, good title.
5. “Duality” – “Vol. 3 – The Subliminal Verses”, SlipknotThis song reminds me of why I used to love metal. It’s back to raw aggression and speed thrash, stop n go riffs. I realize now that metal never died, it just sucked for the last 10 years.
5 songs I will not miss listening to on Lewisville’s KDGE – “The Edge”
1. “Beverly Hills” - “Make Believe”, WeezerWhy Weezer. You should have quit while you were ahead. Damn you fools. I have a hard time believing River wrote this shite. He is a little old I guess.
2. “Boulevard of Broken Dreams” – “American Idiot”, Green DayNo excuse for this either. An obviously overblown pop crap album, it’s sure generating some retirement pocket change for Billy and the gang. I guess looking back, they always were the media whore types, despite whatever the late 90’s street wise punks told you about their early shows in basements. That doesn’t matter now, does it?
3. “These Boots Are Made For Walkin’” – “Dukes of Hazard Soundtrack”, Jessica SimpsonDo we really have to listen to this? The problem with playing this song on the radio is that you can’t see no titty.
4. “Since U Been Gone” - “Breakaway”, Kelly ClarksonAmerica’s favorite genetic sample. Darwin would be proud. I wish she had a good song writer, like Rob Zombie or Phil Collins.
5. “Lonely No More” - “Something to Be”, Rob ThomasThe whiniest bitch of em all. Listening to Rob Thomas sing is the equivalent of changing your own diaper.
Looks like I’m off this week so I’ll be in Tucson enjoying the monsoons and showing off my “flair” to thankless potato skin cronies and fake birthday cheap skates. Hey it pays the bills. What do you want from me?Peace.
-bZen
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Captains Log
Star Date: 9.1.2005
Location: Garrett, IN
Conundrum
I stepped into that imaginary fog known as “The knowledge of our elders” yesterday, and was promptly and systematically shut down. You see, in the world of telecommunications installation, procedures and methods for doing various types of work are obsessively adhered to, and observed with a strict, unholy passion (usually it’s baby boomer generation men who take their jobs way too seriously, for the NSAC crew: “Roy Ebert”). Depending on where you are in the country and which company’s building you are working in, these standards can change. The only way to learn the different standards is to study the documentation, or to work with an “elder” who is patient enough to teach you the ropes. Since money is the main factor to the companies that hire only contractors, they are also (usually) unwilling to train them, so getting your hands on this knowledge is not an easy task. To make matters worse, a lot of times contractors are forbidden to read and review these documents, not because of money/training issues, but because it frightens the “elders” into thinking that their job security is being threatened. Written documentation actually becomes very exclusive information to a contract worker looking to get ahead. Unfortunately, sometimes the only way you’ll find out about a certain company’s standards is to break a rule, and find out “the hard way” (termination after the first mistake sometimes). At this point, the knowledge itself appears to contain an element of arrogance, wrongfully gained, and misused over the years. In some cases, the knowledge is used solely to boost an ego when repressed memories of a lost game of trivial pursuit come forth. I have heard grown men viciously arguing over the correct way to crimp a lug on a cable or drill floor holes to mount a bay. When money comes first, human dignity is always the cost. Most companies hire contractors because they are cheap and virtually expendable. They are easily replaced- “a dime a dozen”. But also, it’s because it creates an atmosphere where they are no longer “burdened” with the basic responsibility of treating them humanely. It becomes unnecessary at that point, and to them: it’s simply one less thing to worry about. They can hire and fire men like they’re trading baseball cards and not feel the slightest bit of guilt over it. Giving any man that much control over a group of workers he deems “desperate for their jobs” will always yield the worst possible results: displays of evil and corruption that would make Satan himself cringe. Watching a grown man get completely berated in front of his co-workers for a minor infraction and sent home for good is common. All you can do is look the other way and pray it doesn’t happen to you the next day. Seeing people get fired for the color of their skin, their weight, or their age is common in this business. When I started this job, there were 10 of us, 7 were dismissed in this fashion, and in some cases left to wonder what happened when they weren’t called back. This whole situation is advantageous to the contract company because it creates a high level of competition among the crew. It gives them a hard and fast reason to fight for “the top”. But the motto then becomes: “Fend for yourself, stab a coworker in the back if necessary, but just do whatever you have to do to look good… or at least better than your co-worker.” Inevitably the thoughts arise, “If they don’t want me to do anything but nod yes and follow orders, what do they really think about me… or what I’m capable of? When money comes first, human dignity is always the cost.
To see and be a part of this intentionally ruthless chain of events week to week had begun to leave me with a depressed feeling. I had been on the other side of the firing line for the last 3 months, consorting with the enemy (the elders). Feeling lucky (not safe), I was shooting the shit with bosses whenever possible (kissing ass), but still secretly praying that I wouldn’t accidentally do or say the wrong thing to make them turn on me also. No person was immune from this treatment. But by allowing myself to be played this way, I only lost my self respect. I swore that I would never allow any of these “elders” to treat me that way and I told myself the second someone treated me with that level of disrespect, I would defend myself, and quit, never looking back once. But what does this say about me in the end? How ethical is it to demand this level of respect for myself, but then look the other way when serious violations occurred to others like my self? Have I come this far with this company simply because I was the best ass kisser? Huh.Then came 3 weeks off due to “lack of work”, and I decided to find work elsewhere, mostly because I hadn’t heard anything from Apex Systems and assumed I was the next victim of a firing by “cold shoulder”. (i.e. “Don’t contact them for new jobs and hope they just go away eventually”). I proceeded to find something else, and after updating my resume on the job sites, I immediately got a call from a small company in Arizona named Comletric that specializes in IT installation. Specifically, they set up LAN networks and run Cat /Cat 3 network cables into commercial work sites. Better pay, very friendly down-home approach boss. It was ideal, and my boss was more than willing to show me the ropes. After my first day on the job, Apex Systems called me back to cheerfully announce that I had been requested on a new job in Garrett, IN! Woo hoo (sarcasm). Angry from being dissed for 3 weeks straight, and broke as shit, I told them no. I started a new job and I was past waiting around for them to call. But after hanging up the phone I started thinking about all the benefits of that job (travel, free flights anywhere, health insurance, using a rental car instead of my degenerating Chevy Blumina, extra lap top) and reluctantly called back to agree to go to Indiana. I don’t know, there’s just something I like about waking up in Garrett Indianas week by week. I told Comletric that I had to go to Milwaukee for 2 weeks for a family emergency, but made sure I would still be able to work for them when I got back. I figured I would give Apex 2 more weeks to see how things went, and to see if I was really felt the same way I did 3 weeks earlier. I put a lot of time in effort into this job and I figured it deserved another chance. If it did end up working out better this time around, I would have to tell Comletric something came up then, and blow them off (which I am not fond of). So here I sit now, in Garrett, IN. The flight was nice, I made sure to drink as many bloody maries as possible, and the room is OK too. Enter, earlier today:Maybe due
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Captains Log
Stardate : 5.9.2005
Location: Tucson, AZ
All right y'all, here's what's up now.
Gummo's condition never really got much better, and he spent most of his time asleep or in a headlock getting fed by me. This combined with taking a job offer to do contract work for Nortel in Seattle/Portland, I have decided to let him go. I just don't have the time to keep him alive this way, and now that I'm going to the Northwest for 5-6 weeks, I definately don't. So instead of letting him starve himself to death, I "put him down" as they say. He will be in the desert sand somewhere but remember: "That cat is gone, but he aint gone stray".
GUMMO
1999-2005
So here lies Gummo,
a cat so famous...
And what can be said
when the day is through,
about this old tom cat
that isn’t true.
He was born on a farm
next to a pig sty,
during that 99’ summer
on the forth of July.
Discovered by Brennan
familiar to most,
he leapt like a tiger
but hardly would boast.
For this was a tom cat
who knew he was rare,
with bottle caps soaring
he’d catch in the air.
Sure I had millions
with promos and sponsors,
this back flipping farm cat
would sell beer and concerts.
Who never backed down
when faced with a mutt?
Who never felt pain
when kicked in the gut?
So like an old sailor
who’s late in his days,
said, “Fuck all you people-
It’s tuna that pays!”
He starved himself silly
and wouldn’t drink a thing,
but weight loss and jaundice
is all that would bring.
It wasn’t curiosity
that killed this tom cat,
he held out for tuna
and his liver got fat.
By the time I had noticed
the damage was done,
I force fed him water
But jaundice had won.
So this is what has happened
to a cat that’s known by all,
the tuna made him do it,
his liver made him fall.
Stubbornness or porch rage;
which ever was the cause,
he lies now in the desert
and it made me take a pause…
Gummo- “That cat is gone but he aint gone stray”
7/4/99- 5/6/05
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Captains Log.
Star Date: 6.24.2005
Altitude: 34,000 feet
Location: Somewhere above Texas on a flight home (Tucson still).
I have mixed feelings about leaving this virtual L.L. Bean catalog known as North Carolina. Exclusive inside information, news, and reviews is now available to all my premium fan club members!
3 Things I will miss:
1. Chapel Hill- A college city so wrapped up in its own glory years (i.e. UNC college basketball, Michael Jordan, NCAA title in 2005) that it kind of reminds me of Green Bay (but with way more college girls and way less brats). This city reminds me of Dad, with it’s fanaticism for college basketball. And it’s not just Chapel Hill (UNC); there is Raleigh (NC State), Durham (Duke), and Wake Forest (Wake Forest) all in close proximity to each other (big rivalries).
2. The Woods- North Carolina is like always being in the woods. The only thing separating the thick foliage is the roads and highways. You can never really know where you are there because you can’t see past the trees. I was 100 feet from a mall in Durham and had to ask for directions.
3. Wilmington/Atlantic Ocean- Wilmington is a tourist city on the Atlantic Ocean that is best known for “Cape Fear”- a sunny sprawling beach dotted with tiki bars every couple 100 feet or so. The waves are especially large there, which attracts the best surfers from all over. I stayed there last weekend instead of going home because of its extremely pleasant vibe. I never saw the Atlantic Ocean before, and I must admit, it seemed a little larger, fresher, and warmer than the Pacific.
3 Things I won’t miss:
1. Humidity- I must be the most spoiled brat in the world living in the dry air of Tucson, and I didn’t realize it until I got off that plane in Raleigh. The first breath of air that night was like inhaling tobacco flavored steam, it felt like a hot wet blanket over me the whole time. I’ll take >10% humidity any day.
2. Cigarettes- I never thought I’d see a city so sympathetic with the tobacco industry (everybody is a proud smoker there). Tobacco was the main cash crop for Raleigh for hundreds of years and it did a lot of good for a lot of families until everybody started getting cancer and dying. The name RJ Reynolds (Marlboro) is on parks and streets everywhere. You can always hear a hacking cough where ever you are.
3. Harris-Teeter- The main grocery store in North Carolina. They call it “Teeters”.
Anyways, the job seems really cool so far. I am now done training and ready to start going everywhere. For tech savvy Brennan fans, here is an overview of what I am doing: I am working for a company called Apex Systems, who contracts work out to a company called Tekelec. Tekelec owns 80% of the market share in a specific area of telecommunications known as SS7/STP messaging/signaling. They make processors and servers for signaling transfer points (STP) that utilizes SS7 messaging to route your phone calls. Due to number portability, their old servers (owned by various telecom service providers like SBC, Verizon, Cingular, etc.) are becoming overfilled with new numbers. Since these old servers can’t handle the industry’s needs, we are installing newer and better servers for the service providers. They can store up to 192 million phone numbers a piece, hence the project name, “192 mill”. This process is known as a “hot slide” because we will be moving live equipment and replacing it with new equipment (all the time making sure there are no service interruptions). Patty and Scott- you guys know what all that means.
I am going home now and then to Kansas City, Kansas on Monday for the first job (for Sprint). From there it could be back to Vegas or to Illinois, don’t know yet. I am working in a team of 8 guys, but we are all split up into pairs. They paired me up with a guy named Justin from New York.
Also! I plan on returning to Milwaukee for the last weekend of Summerfest – 7/9 & 10 for my 10 year high school reunion on 7/9 and to hang out with the fam.
Also! I am changing my e-mail address so please update it to bzennan@gmail.com The next fan club newsletter will come from my new address.
-bZen
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Captains Log
Star Date: 7.14.2005
Altitude: 34,000 feet
Location: Again, somewhere above Texas on a flight home.
For those in the know, Dallas Texas was the city that my "telecomcareer" first got started. In 2000, when I graduated from ITT, Nortel Networks hired me and flew me to Dallas for two weeks of telecommunications central office training. This was the first time I had ever really left Milwaukee, at least for any business purposes, and it was completely thrilling to me. I went out every single night and had hundreds of stories to tell about my "new exciting job". I rolled around town with the corporate card and bought fancy drinks for all the ladies. Then, as you may know, Nortel Networks flew me back to Dallas 8 months later for another week of training. This time however, the training was different, since it included the lay offs of over 3000 employees due to the infamous "tech stock market crash" in late 2000- the days of riding my high horse were over. I think we (Nortel Field Techs) all got the best training that week, because the days of milk and honey were over in the telecom world and we had to face the hard facts: We were not in high demand anymore. All the work we used to perform for top dollar was outsourced to contractors for half that. So when the option came to "join em", I instead got lucky (again) with one of the last gravy jobs around in telecom (SBC), and it was union of all things! I gave contract work the finger.
So where am I going with this little story? I returned to Dallas last week for the first time since being dumped by it, as a contractor (something I was once proud NOT to be). I was sent to Dallas this time to LEAD a crew of 3 guys. I directed all the work performed, interfaced with the customer, made the hours and called the shots. Evidently, according to my project manager in Raleigh, it all went "just about perfect". And so a new era of telecom work begins for me, but this time it involves being on the other side: being a boss effectively. I returned to the city that made me, and the city that slayed me, in a greater place than I ever realized I would be when I left on that sad day in 2000, and under much different circumstances. I felt proud to return to Dallas wiser and battle tested, this time with a newer, truer purpose- to work hard, not sight-see. I did go out one night this week to "Lower Greenville" (the bars I frequented every night back in 2000), and it was mildly fun. I can say that it was nowhere near the level of excitement that my memories had served to remind me of for the last 5 years. But then again, the times they are a changing for me- I'm not out to party like it was 1999 anymore.
Anyway, that being said, here is what you've all been waiting for:
3 Things I Will Miss:
1. The honeys. Texas breeds cute little hot girls. It's just a fact. No matter where you go you can see em' out there, just playin' withthe deer and the antelope.
2. The wide open spaces. You gotta love a place that when you lookout, you can see only land for miles and miles- with no obstructions at all. You could probably see a cow 12 miles away in the right light.
3. The highways. They have a good highway system there- you can get just about anywhere in Dallas/Fort Worth pretty quick because of its multiple, easily accessible freeway systems.
3 Things I Won't Miss:
1. Drunken wandering crazy people on the freeways. The freeway system rocks, but there is one catch: Every hillbilly with a bottle of jack walks around on them like its Times Square. You always need to keep an eye out for these guys (and girls with bare feet and Newports too).
2. Grocery stores. I went to 3 popular/major grocery stores in Dallas just to get some damn kosher skim milk. None of them had it or knew what I was talking about. Meat was just out of the question. This is the first city I've been to where all the milk wasn't kosher. Oh well, I ended up getting soy milk anyways.
3. Poncho's Mexican Buffet. I don't generally like to eat out as it is, and eating out "kosher style" can be especially difficult (as many of you who have gone out to eat with me know). But this place took the freakin' anti-kosher cake. They put damn bacon in everything from salad to salsa. I ended up only being able to eat fire roasted jalapeno peppers with just a touch of lettuce in tortilla shells for lunch (and it was 98 degrees outside).
I do not know yet where I will be next week, but I am thinking Chantilly, VA or Raleigh again. I will keep y'all up to date; as I'm sure y'all want to be. I'll just keep sending out these self indulgent "Fan Club Newsletters" every week until someone gives me a death threat to stop.
Then it’s twice a week bitches.
bZen
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Captains Log
Star Date: 7.28.2005
Location: “Sam’s Brewhouse” in Terminal B, Dulles International Airport (IAD), Washington D.C.
Altitude: Sea level, or damn near close
It was as if The Gods themselves spoke to me last week (sorry Christians), and a clap of thunder rang in my ear with a mighty vengeance. For the land had been dry far too long, and the crops were few and far between. A strong storm was the only thing that would bring about the end to this year long drought. Tucson is probably one of the driest places on earth until late July and early August, then “Monsoon Season” arrives like an angry monster, chained up in the basement, working hard to break free and destroy his captors. Due to the moisture content in the air, weather systems moving from East to West, and whatever else causes shit like this to happen, we get powerful and destructive storms every day at around 4:00 PM. These storms creep over the Rincon Mountains in the East, and disappear within 2 or 3 hours... without fail… every day. From the day I arrived in Tucson, the natives warned me of this violent end to the dry spell, but I was skeptical. Exaggeration is rampant there, especially among those who wish to ward off imposters and fly by night “snow birds” to their precious land. “Just wait until the summer” they said. “The heat’ll kill ya, and if the heat don’t kill ya the monsoons will.” Whatever. They obviously never lived in Wisconsin. The monsoons are rough, but they only last for 2-3 weeks and then it’s back to paradise as usual for the rest of the year. Despite the floods and slick road hazards, I secretly wished to be around to see this fiasco take place. Be careful what you wish for I guess, because a personal monsoon was brewing that would keep me grounded, and it just happened to coincide with the real thing. I wasn’t going to miss a damn thing.
Allow me to explain. Last week, I was supposed return to Raleigh, NC (Tekelec) to train some new recruits on the “hot slide” procedure that the Tekelec engineers, and myself (and 3 others) had been developing for the last couple months (refer to fan club newsletter: Star Date 6.24.2005). I requested this location specifically, and in a self serving manner mind you, because Jen Job the “JAP” (Jewish American Princess) would be leaving for Israel to teach kids for the next 2 years on Sunday. Jen and I met in Chapel Hill and bonded over the course of the 2 weeks I was in Raleigh last month. It was a short romance, but for whatever reason, deep down inside, I hoped to see her off. Afterall, this would be the last opportunity I would ever have to hang out with this Chapel Hillian and bid her a “fond” farewell. Unless, of course, some day down the road I decide to travel to Israel for Kosher McDonalds (yes it’s true, they really have Kosher McDonalds there… a paradox in space and time). I do realize that none of my “Official Fan Club Newsletter” readers are familiar with Jen Job the JAP, and I apologize for that. In an attempt to spare the innocent, I have omitted such details. But then I realized: none of you are innocent, regardless of what you may think. So why hide my indiscretions from you? I would only be compromising my journalistic integrity, and cheating all of my loyal fans of the truth.
Anyways, to make a long story short, the blood that wasn’t cooperating with the leg that wasn’t cooperating with the pills that went into my mouth every night wound up putting me back in the hospital (TMC - Tucson Medical Center) for 4 days last week. A brand new crop of blood clots showed up in the leg and lungs like a bounced checks. This was due to a low level of Coumadin (blood thinner) in my system. Coumadin levels in the blood are notoriously difficult to maintain, and thus must be checked frequently (it is especially sensitive to green leafy vegetables like broccoli). I had gone almost a month and a half without getting this checked and as Murphy’s Law would dictate- the level dropped by quite a bit. The doctor attributes the change to the change in my diet and exercise routine since February. However, a protein deficiency in the blood is probably the culprit overall, but that can only be determined by doing 1000 tests (I will do this eventually). Anyways, I’ll see it as a wake up call and begin checking it bi-weekly from now on, and raise or lower my dose accordingly.
This sucked of course, but in more ways than one. Not only was I going to miss the dramatic good bye, I wasn’t going to get paid for the week. Financially, it’s a disaster, but hey, that never stopped me before. Besides, I’ve been working at Fridays on the weekends for a couple bucks, mild amusement, and the chance to meet “local singles”.
So by last Sunday, I was dying to get back on the road to find a new girly girl to talk to (and work of course). I flew into Baltimore (BMI) and drove to Chantilly, VA for the next job. Chantilly is only about 20 minutes West of Washington D.C. so I was excited to see what that was like. On Tuesday, I ventured out into D.C. to find the night life, and after getting lost in the massive ghettos for an hour, I finally found “Adams Morgan” (the bar area on 18th street where all the cool kids go). I ended up running into a 22 year old girl named Kristen, who obviously came from a quality blood line. Her pedigree was unrivaled in the entire place, and for some reason she plopped down on the empty bar stool just to my left. Curious and eager I started in on her with the questions. It turns out she was there with her best friend Erin, and they had been hanging out with some hot shot Capitol Hill lawyers/politicians that they met that night. Apparently, his Harvard law degree bored the shit out of her cause she was showing her undivided interest in me (much to James’ dismay). He made some desperate attempts to recover his valuable investment (i.e. “Are you ready to go get some ice cream?” he says
Here’s the fix:
3 things I will miss:
1. Adams Morgan: It’s no secret that I’m partial to the night life. This was a good area for that. The bar I hung out in was called “Madam’s Organ”- 3 floors with live bands on each- every night of the week. That’s unheard of.
2. Monuments: There is something to be said for this country, and D.C. says it all in a caption at the base of a monument on every street and every corner. There’s not enough time in a week to go through all of them. But it’s cool, I’ll just have to come back here when I’m really old and actually interested in looking at massive man-made things.
3. Fairfax: This is a small town, but it has a lot of class. Charming houses built with classical architecture in mind, it’s the A-typical East coast “sleepy” little city. I could see raising a family there, sitting on a big porch with a coffee in the morning, watching sunrises and sets, etc. It’s that kind of place. And they have a Harris-Teeter.
3 things I will not miss:
1. The ghetto(s): Washington D.C. is well known for having the worst and largest ghettos in the country. I can attest to this fact. I have never seen such despair and recklessness in all my life. In some areas, it looked like the government public works department just gave up (i.e. flashing reds at huge intersections causing a “free for all” situation- just fly through and hope you don’t get hit because most don’t stop at all, half the street light broken, stalled/parked cars in the middle of the streets). The biggest ones are on the Northwest side and Southeast side. Once I drove in (by accident), it literally took me an hour just to drive out.
2. Politicians: Need I say more?
3. Toyota Prius (gas-electric hybrid): I had to start this thing with a push button on the dashboard. The “shifter” was a little lever next to the radio and it only had F or R (very basic). The car itself wasn’t that small, it just had no pick up and t looked like a car from Disney World’s “Cars of the Future” exhibit in 1985. It makes no sound when you start it, so it took me 10 minutes to figure out it was “on”- like a golf cart. Good gas mileage, if that’s what you’re into.
Next week I’m going to Lewisville, TX (outside Dallas). I’ll keep y’all posted on that whole situation over there. Peace.
-bZen
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Captains Log
Stardate: 8.7.5
Location: Tucson, AZ
Altitude: 2600 feet above sea level
“I'll tell you 'bout Texas Radio and the Big Beat"
"Soft drivin', slow and mad, like some new language.”
”Now, listen to this, and I'll tell you 'bout the Texas"
"I'll tell you 'bout the Texas Radio"
"I'll tell you 'bout the hopeless night Wandering the Western dream"
"Tell you 'bout the maiden with raw iron soul.”
Hello Kings and Queens of Universes: "Texas Radio" refers to high power Mexican radio stations that blasted into Texas in the 1950's. Not restricted by American regulations these stations, whose call letters started with X, could have up to 150,000 watts. Jim Morrison and Ray Manzarek both heard Wolfman Jack on one. Last week, I remembered this spoken word from the at times funky “An American Prayer” (post Doors 1995 release), but it meant something completely different to me at the time. Texas is big- that cliché is as worn out as Catherine Bach’s Daisy Duke shorts after a 1981 press release. Funny though, cause even the radio is just a little bigger. There are tons of interesting stations to choose from. I choose to believe, conveniently, that I am “Wandering the Western dream, in search of the maiden with a raw iron soul” (raw iron in a good way, of course). Appropriately enough, I had a massive Ford F-250 with a bumpin system to drive through this Brobdingnag (Google it) Americana. Unfortunately, I have little to say about Lewisville itself, other than that, I heard some of the best new “indie/pop” music (today’s ultimate paradox) of the 05’ summer season on KDGE The Edge (102.1). With that I’ll give ya’ll my REVISED (i.e. 5 musical entries) best of/worst of list.
5 songs I will miss listening to on Lewisville’s KDGE - “The Edge”
1. “Direction”, Six Feet Under Soundtrack (Vol. 2), Interpol A nice change of pace toward their earlier magic (Antics was so average). Almost shoegazy in nature. Stare at something and listen… with your 3rd ear.
2. “Talk” – “X & Y”, ColdplayMy favorite song from X & Y, a disappointing album overall, this is a strong point.
3. “To The Workers of The Rock River Valley Region, I have an idea concerning your predicament, and it involves an inner tube, bath mats, and 21 able-bodied men” …into: “Man of metropolis steals our hearts” – “C’mon Feel the Illinoise”, Sufjan StevensSufjan is brilliant, creating perfect “chamber folk” stylings, effectively capturing the raw emotion one might feel about a geographic location and its people, mixed in with history lesson lyrics. Michigan (Stevens’ 50 state project predecessor) is probably a better album overall, but he’s got the right idea.
4. “Growing Up With GNR” – “I Sold Gold”, AqueductYes, Aqueduct is one of those OC bands, but this one stands out from the others. Good song writing, good title.
5. “Duality” – “Vol. 3 – The Subliminal Verses”, SlipknotThis song reminds me of why I used to love metal. It’s back to raw aggression and speed thrash, stop n go riffs. I realize now that metal never died, it just sucked for the last 10 years.
5 songs I will not miss listening to on Lewisville’s KDGE – “The Edge”
1. “Beverly Hills” - “Make Believe”, WeezerWhy Weezer. You should have quit while you were ahead. Damn you fools. I have a hard time believing River wrote this shite. He is a little old I guess.
2. “Boulevard of Broken Dreams” – “American Idiot”, Green DayNo excuse for this either. An obviously overblown pop crap album, it’s sure generating some retirement pocket change for Billy and the gang. I guess looking back, they always were the media whore types, despite whatever the late 90’s street wise punks told you about their early shows in basements. That doesn’t matter now, does it?
3. “These Boots Are Made For Walkin’” – “Dukes of Hazard Soundtrack”, Jessica SimpsonDo we really have to listen to this? The problem with playing this song on the radio is that you can’t see no titty.
4. “Since U Been Gone” - “Breakaway”, Kelly ClarksonAmerica’s favorite genetic sample. Darwin would be proud. I wish she had a good song writer, like Rob Zombie or Phil Collins.
5. “Lonely No More” - “Something to Be”, Rob ThomasThe whiniest bitch of em all. Listening to Rob Thomas sing is the equivalent of changing your own diaper.
Looks like I’m off this week so I’ll be in Tucson enjoying the monsoons and showing off my “flair” to thankless potato skin cronies and fake birthday cheap skates. Hey it pays the bills. What do you want from me?Peace.
-bZen
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Captains Log
Star Date: 9.1.2005
Location: Garrett, IN
Conundrum
I stepped into that imaginary fog known as “The knowledge of our elders” yesterday, and was promptly and systematically shut down. You see, in the world of telecommunications installation, procedures and methods for doing various types of work are obsessively adhered to, and observed with a strict, unholy passion (usually it’s baby boomer generation men who take their jobs way too seriously, for the NSAC crew: “Roy Ebert”). Depending on where you are in the country and which company’s building you are working in, these standards can change. The only way to learn the different standards is to study the documentation, or to work with an “elder” who is patient enough to teach you the ropes. Since money is the main factor to the companies that hire only contractors, they are also (usually) unwilling to train them, so getting your hands on this knowledge is not an easy task. To make matters worse, a lot of times contractors are forbidden to read and review these documents, not because of money/training issues, but because it frightens the “elders” into thinking that their job security is being threatened. Written documentation actually becomes very exclusive information to a contract worker looking to get ahead. Unfortunately, sometimes the only way you’ll find out about a certain company’s standards is to break a rule, and find out “the hard way” (termination after the first mistake sometimes). At this point, the knowledge itself appears to contain an element of arrogance, wrongfully gained, and misused over the years. In some cases, the knowledge is used solely to boost an ego when repressed memories of a lost game of trivial pursuit come forth. I have heard grown men viciously arguing over the correct way to crimp a lug on a cable or drill floor holes to mount a bay. When money comes first, human dignity is always the cost. Most companies hire contractors because they are cheap and virtually expendable. They are easily replaced- “a dime a dozen”. But also, it’s because it creates an atmosphere where they are no longer “burdened” with the basic responsibility of treating them humanely. It becomes unnecessary at that point, and to them: it’s simply one less thing to worry about. They can hire and fire men like they’re trading baseball cards and not feel the slightest bit of guilt over it. Giving any man that much control over a group of workers he deems “desperate for their jobs” will always yield the worst possible results: displays of evil and corruption that would make Satan himself cringe. Watching a grown man get completely berated in front of his co-workers for a minor infraction and sent home for good is common. All you can do is look the other way and pray it doesn’t happen to you the next day. Seeing people get fired for the color of their skin, their weight, or their age is common in this business. When I started this job, there were 10 of us, 7 were dismissed in this fashion, and in some cases left to wonder what happened when they weren’t called back. This whole situation is advantageous to the contract company because it creates a high level of competition among the crew. It gives them a hard and fast reason to fight for “the top”. But the motto then becomes: “Fend for yourself, stab a coworker in the back if necessary, but just do whatever you have to do to look good… or at least better than your co-worker.” Inevitably the thoughts arise, “If they don’t want me to do anything but nod yes and follow orders, what do they really think about me… or what I’m capable of? When money comes first, human dignity is always the cost.
To see and be a part of this intentionally ruthless chain of events week to week had begun to leave me with a depressed feeling. I had been on the other side of the firing line for the last 3 months, consorting with the enemy (the elders). Feeling lucky (not safe), I was shooting the shit with bosses whenever possible (kissing ass), but still secretly praying that I wouldn’t accidentally do or say the wrong thing to make them turn on me also. No person was immune from this treatment. But by allowing myself to be played this way, I only lost my self respect. I swore that I would never allow any of these “elders” to treat me that way and I told myself the second someone treated me with that level of disrespect, I would defend myself, and quit, never looking back once. But what does this say about me in the end? How ethical is it to demand this level of respect for myself, but then look the other way when serious violations occurred to others like my self? Have I come this far with this company simply because I was the best ass kisser? Huh.Then came 3 weeks off due to “lack of work”, and I decided to find work elsewhere, mostly because I hadn’t heard anything from Apex Systems and assumed I was the next victim of a firing by “cold shoulder”. (i.e. “Don’t contact them for new jobs and hope they just go away eventually”). I proceeded to find something else, and after updating my resume on the job sites, I immediately got a call from a small company in Arizona named Comletric that specializes in IT installation. Specifically, they set up LAN networks and run Cat /Cat 3 network cables into commercial work sites. Better pay, very friendly down-home approach boss. It was ideal, and my boss was more than willing to show me the ropes. After my first day on the job, Apex Systems called me back to cheerfully announce that I had been requested on a new job in Garrett, IN! Woo hoo (sarcasm). Angry from being dissed for 3 weeks straight, and broke as shit, I told them no. I started a new job and I was past waiting around for them to call. But after hanging up the phone I started thinking about all the benefits of that job (travel, free flights anywhere, health insurance, using a rental car instead of my degenerating Chevy Blumina, extra lap top) and reluctantly called back to agree to go to Indiana. I don’t know, there’s just something I like about waking up in Garrett Indianas week by week. I told Comletric that I had to go to Milwaukee for 2 weeks for a family emergency, but made sure I would still be able to work for them when I got back. I figured I would give Apex 2 more weeks to see how things went, and to see if I was really felt the same way I did 3 weeks earlier. I put a lot of time in effort into this job and I figured it deserved another chance. If it did end up working out better this time around, I would have to tell Comletric something came up then, and blow them off (which I am not fond of). So here I sit now, in Garrett, IN. The flight was nice, I made sure to drink as many bloody maries as possible, and the room is OK too. Enter, earlier today:Maybe due
posted by b-Zen at 1:43 AM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home